Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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