why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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