are you so shy because you have an std?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
