I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
