Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
