Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
