I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
