I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
