I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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