he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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