she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
