So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
