Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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