real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
