The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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