I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
