go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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