i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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