We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
