I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
