Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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