i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
