So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize