yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
