I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
honey bunches of taint.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
