I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
