I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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