Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
