My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
