nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
