I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm drive I can fine osifer
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
