You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
