I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
