Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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