when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She bit a glass in half.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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