you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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