Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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