i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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