apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
