I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
