I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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