She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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