I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
