i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
only if we run a train.
done.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
