Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
