It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Your penis caused this!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
