ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize