were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
