I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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