My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
