clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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