I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
