Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
