We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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