Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She needs sedatives and a leash
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
