White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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