Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
